


Chasing happiness

by patricia27



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baker Dean Winchester, Confident Castiel (Supernatural), Depressed Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, F/M, Family Issues, Heavy Angst, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Pre-Slash, Sad Dean Winchester, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, post-episode AU s15e19
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28715925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patricia27/pseuds/patricia27
Summary: Post Season 15 episode 19 AU.To Dean, all this peace, happiness and future plans seem like the calm before the storm. He doesn't know whether this time, they'll be the one blowing one or someone else. Or perhaps it's just himself who's waiting for a storm to pass that may never even come.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 8





	1. Calm and Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Just a Warning, It's going to be super Sad and angsty before it even touches the Comfort zone.   
> I have read a plethora of AU fics and Fix its after that horrible finale, but I wanted to go out of the current happy norm and jump in the angsty bandwagon which seems to be my niche.   
> So, read it only if you are ready to face some angst ridden stuff.  
> Warnings if any would be placed in the beginning of every chapter.
> 
> I will be updating on Tuesday every week. This is a complete Fic.   
> I don't have a beta reader so every mistake is mine. Do forgive the grammar.

* * *

As much as their circumstances have kept worsening over the years, there have always been these little moments, days or weeks of peace or calm. Dean has learned to trust over the years that “shit really does hit the fan” after such episodes.

But this time, this serenity, relative calm or peace or whatever normal their life constitutes of, seems different. Its just not that calm, yet just enough to lay back and relax and may be start to make plans. Dean feels even more on edge with such kind of uncertainty and peace. Previously he could always trust that someone or something was coming to screw them over.

He certainly feels happy that God is no longer pulling their strings, that Cass is back (yeah, jack being god and all), that jack has decided to live a normal life for a while ( jack not being a god, uh?) and that all their friends and family are safe and sound relatively.

Well, happy being used in really loose terms. After all he still hasn’t figured out what or how to react to Cass’s confession before he was dragged to spend eternity in empty. Even he is enough aware of his own feelings that the only answer there is to give is “ I love you too”.

But he hasn’t ever made a confession or said something emotional without being on the brink of death or without a sword hanging over their heads. It just seems too…simple.

He knows he could have just said it when Cass came back from empty, when dean had taken the bastard in his arms and pushed his head to the other man’s shoulder. When Cas had gripped him tight along the shoulders or when he had been busy breathing in the man’s scent of lightening, thunder and safety (odd, that combination).

But then he had been too choked up to say even a word and later the assault from a well-meaning moose and a baby god had taken the moment away.

Cass had looked at him cautiously for a few minutes after they separated and then had just nodded to dean with a sad smile. Dean still hasn’t figured out what that nod had meant. The timing had gone away and Dean being the chickenshit emotional hazard that he is had let Cass out of his sights to give the man some space. Even he knew that was just bullshit.

They haven’t surprisingly gotten a moment alone after that. Dean being too nervous and Cass being whatever that sad smile meant, resulted in them always seeking ways to get out of each other’s way. Dean spent his time in his room or in the garage. Cass was always either helping Jack understand the intricacies of human life or reading besides Sam in the library.

That was the other thing. Sam and Cass seemed to be always doing something together, researching on their phones or laptops, opting to go for grocery runs together and coming back much later than expected, going for runs in the morning, teaching Jack things like “social habits” “good dietary practices”, mathematics and other nerdy stuff.

Dean was certainly not jealous of his brother in terms of what you had suspect, after all Eileen was coming to live with them in just a few weeks more. She was just busy tying up some loose ends and setting up some small stately Hq’s for correspondence.

It’s not like he has been alone or feels lonely or any of that shit. They all have had good moments together these past few months. From movie nights and gaming hours to long drives to far away random yet beautiful destinations. Sometimes a random hunt here or there too, nothing major though. And Dean certainly doesn’t get lonely. Whatever his brother says about the matter notwithstanding.

So it’s been really good actually. Peaceful and quite and fun. Homely. Like a family should feel like. Fun grumpy breakfasts, wholesome dinners and nights which are quietly filled.

But he sure felt that he was being left out of something big.

A part of that may have been the clear lack of time he spent with Jack. But what would you expect him to do with the baby God? Its not like he is interested in eating, so Dean can’t indulge him along with his baking sprees, nor is Dean frequent with any of the other stuff that Sam and Cass insists on making Jack learn.

Besides, Jack himself has been a bit wary of him, the kid still not sure whether his presence is just being tolerated or welcomed. Dean quickly needs to find something for both of them to partake in.

So that just leaves one thing.

Following that increasingly long, desperate and depressing yet inspiring train of thought over the last week, he’s decided to find them a hunt, a simple one yet good enough to get them out and stretching their legs.

Plus he could teach Jack how to handle a pistol and shotgun owing to an upcoming hunt. He felt proud of himself for thinking about it. One bullet two scores.

Not that he thinks of Jack as score.

Moreover, Dean thought excitedly while placing the next batch of pint sized cherry pies in the oven, he could convince Cass to share a room with him while Sam and Jack could share another.

A wide grin appeared on his face with that thought. Jack mighty, he was on a roll today!

* * *

Sam came inside the kitchen and saw Dean grinning widely at the pies he must have just placed in the oven. An involuntary smile came over his lips as he rolled his eyes thinking about the first time he had seen that grin over Dean’s face.

It was 24 years ago. Dean being a horny teenager who had recently gotten laid.

Sam hoped that this was not particularly due to those pies. A shiver passed through his body. He would never be able to eat those ever again.

He cleared his throat while snatching a cold bottle of water from the fridge with a pointed…

“ are you done admiring the food or you two need some more time alone?”

Dean jerked back into the counter as if he had been awoken from a dream and Sam grimaced. Looks like he would never be eating pies ever again. He glanced mournfully towards the oven.

“what the hell SAM!” Dean exclaimed at his brother while rubbing his side to elevate the pain from his collision with the counter.

“ HEY! You were the one having dirty thoughts about pies! Its not my fault you were distracted!”

Sam argued back. Feeling angry as those little pies, even Sam could agree were something to die for.

Dean sputtered at his brother before finally replying indignantly “ I WAS NOT having dirty thoughts! Certainly not about PIES”

Oh. Sam thought taken aback. He grimaced with the realisation that his brother certainly was having dirty thoughts. Just not about Pies. Well that was a good news. But really, Sam did not need to know that. He let his brother know…

“ I really didn’t need to know about that”

“ you were the one who assumed!”

“ you were the one making kissy faces towards the pies!”

Dean sputtered and blushed once again. His cheeks taking a pink tinge to them.

The only thought that crossed Sam’s mind seeing his brother blushing was “ he’s so fucking taken”

Although Sam was not sure with whom? Was it a magazine crush again? Tv celeb? What? It’s been known to happen with Dean. And it certainly couldn’t be a person since the only time Dean really interacted with a human outside of bunker residents was at the bakery/coffee shop out in the city. Oh.

A bright smile softened Sam’s face while looking at Dean. It’s been so long since something good something serious has happened to his brother in terms of a romantic relationship. This can prove to be the thing that allows Dean to relax, may be settle and enjoy life more? Now that they were not being commandeered into mass destruction.

“ why the fuck are you smiling so creepily?” His brother grimaced at him from across the kitchen counter. And the man says he hasn’t been nesting. Sam knows better.

And he also knows better than to point out happy moments for dean. So he simply shrugs and after replacing the bottle to its place (while ignoring the demand for a Beer from his brother) moves towards the kitchen counter.

“ My Beer?” Dean whined at his brother and Sam shook his head with a look.

“What? Now you are cutting me off of Beer?”

Sam sighed. So much for happy thoughts.

“ no Dean. I am not cutting you off of anything. But I am also not giving you alcohol at 12”

“ you are a spoilsport Sammy” But dean doesn’t move to get a beer himself. And he would disagree that he pouts. Sam counts his wins modestly.

The brothers stay in comfortable silence as Dean cleans the counters and the equipment he uses for measuring and mixing his ingredients. These are the only things besides their hunting stuff that Dean cleans and stores meticulously.

It sometimes boggles Sam that someone like Dean who is constantly moving and hyperactive, on the verge of being diagnosed as ADHD can be so precise, calm and patient. It makes hope bloom in his chest for his brother.

Sam smiles and takes a peak inside the oven, unable to ignore his curiosity about today’s creation for long. His eyes bug out and an impish grin appears on his face as he asks his brother teasingly…

“ Are you copying all the coffee shop desserts and designs now? (probing) found someone or something to love?”

Dean’s hands scramble at a clean space on the counter as he ducks his head. Sam’s grin becomes wider even though he tries to subdue it, for reverse psychology and Dean are best friends. Dean just ducks his head with a soft hum.

Sam’s smile grows wider the longer Dean remains silent. But he still tries to down grade it to normal levels when his brother finally looks up from his single focus clean wiping…

“ n..nothing like that. Just trying my hand at new things.”

Sam hummed in response as Dean turned around to rinse the cloth.

Sam is certainly going to miss these moments the most. Yes there are the memories of them hunting and moments from their childhood Sam looks back on fondly, but these are the moments which give him hope.

Hope for all of them. For Dean, who it seems is finally starting to at least relax, for Cas who’s gotten a new chance at life and wants to honour it to the fullest, for Jack who could get a better future with friends and family if they played their cards right, for himself and Eileen too as he still doesn’t believe in spending his life just hunting and running around.

He believes they can get their lives back in order and running as they wish even if it feels like there’s not enough time left to catch up on everything that they have missed. Sam wants to try his best though. And he wants Dean to have that kind of hope too.

* * *

It’s not often that Castiel gets to drive. In the early days of his requirement for this disabling thing, he had just abhorred it for what it signified. Then he has always mostly travelled with the Winchesters and they just love to drive.

So yeah, he hasn’t had a lot of chances.

But now he has come to appreciate the cool wind that blows his hair out of proportions, he loves the speed and the constructive value of it. He has come to rely on the schematics of a machine. The order of it.

And that’s the reason that now he often finds himself going for drives and just contemplating things in his own time. In the past few months it has yielded him quite a few thoughts and revelations.

Castiel, in all of his millions of years of existence has always been a man with a mission. Angels by birth are the warriors of lord and followers of his orders, but Castiel took it to another level, the structure of it was peaceful and stable to him. Orders gave him no choice and missions gave him a goal. He used to be content and peaceful whatever the definition might have been for angels.

When he met the Winchesters eleven years ago, he doesn’t exactly know the moment but sometime between rebuilding Dean’s body to eyeing Sam’s eager hand, castiel had started to lose that feeling of being always content.

The rest as they say became history.

The doubt that bloomed inside him managed to take out God. A doubt has always been the most powerful force driving everything in human world, from inventions and discoveries to relationships. It also became the bane for the existence of his kind.

It was the driven kind of nature of his presence, the need for mission and order and justice that had made Cas team up with Crowley and destroy angels and heaven. It had been his need for retribution that has led to the closing of heaven’s gates. He was the one who had freed lucifer from the cage in order to trap Amara.

So Cas knows what having a mission does to him. He knows he destroys things and takes drastic decisions. So he had been trying to be more compliant. Just a tool in everyone’s plans.

But Cas can accurately pin point that moment in his existence when he realised that having a mission doesn’t mean that he has to destroy everything. That having a mission would not grant him that feeling of being content which he had been seeking all along.

That fateful Day, Castiel realised so many things about himself that this new chance at life, at being human, makes him determined to honour it and live to his fullest. Find that feeling of being content. Apparently it’s not where he thought it would be. In three words embedded deep inside of him.

When Cas confessed his love to the person he has tried to follow, to help, to protect , to seek, he knows now that he had been looking for that feeling all along. The acceptance of it gave him a new outlook.

The ignorance of it made him determined. He has been seeking out that feeling in just one person for so long that he never realised that there are other people who love him, respect him and cherish him.

So Cas has a new mission. It’s not to destroy or to harm anyone. It’s not to do everything on his own. It’s not to seek single-mindedly just that feeling.

His new mission is to protect, provide, live, love and be happy. It’s to create fond memories and live the time to its fullest that he has been granted so generously yet again. Its to help when needed and to let go when it’s the smarter choice.

And this time, Cas would not make the mistake of seeking that bright spot illuminating his periphery. No, this time he wants to be someone who can seek happiness without it being the only thing he can’t have.

There is also the matter of consulting a Winchester before embarking on a mission. Cas is determined to “play his cards right” this time.

The thought makes him grin widely as he finally makes his way out of the garage and inside the bunker. It also makes his stomach clench.

The decision however necessary for him, it’s one he’s still afraid to have made. It makes him feel like a coward and a traitor. It reminds him of the promise “ ill always come when you call” which he won’t be able to keep up with any longer.

But he also feels determined, driven by something that Sam had called as “parenting instinct” which according to Sam is the one instinct that can surpass Love.

* * *


	2. Outings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's trying to do something good. Although sometimes it's much harder to forget 26 years of conditioning. John winchester might not be there with them anymore, but he still certainly lives in everything Dean does.

** CHAPTER – 2 **

The bunker’s spacious kitchen is one of the only things Castiel appreciates about this place. Don’t get him wrong, he appreciates having a home base as much as any other human being. It’s just that with the decreased length of his life line, he wants to experience a HOME rather a base.

But anyways, the kitchen in the bunker is averagely good. Cas often finds himself observing everyone here. Every single person who comes through that door has a different habit, an individuality, a structure, Castiel enjoys seeing these things.

Like, Dean specifically enjoys himself when everyone’s their at the table and he can cook a load of everything. Sam enjoys reading newspaper while gulfing down eggs. Jack has recently become taken with sports, he likes to read everything about a sport, in theory. Cas himself enjoys the serenity of it as he sips through his second cup of coffee, observing everyone.

Such quite breakfast mornings have however become infrequent in recent days. Cas and Sam have come to find running together an enjoyable activity. Jack has taken to sleeping late in the nights and waking up at noon. Dean still cooks breakfast for everyone but he always gets antsy spending too much time at one place.

So, today seems like a special occasion when everybody’s at breakfast table, awake and laughing and filling their plates with crispy bacon, eggs and pancakes.

There is sun shining outside but Cas can’t feel it on his face and that makes him crave something more. It’s a fine day nonetheless.

Dean fills his plate to the brim and more with bacon and pancakes and pours more than ample amount of chocolate syrup on them. Sam watches him with a disgusted expression while Cas smiles fondly at his childish excitement over breakfast food. Jack tries to copy him, which Cas finds is just not as much endearing.

Cas tells jack softly after seeing him avoiding eggs, like dean, “ Jack have some eggs too and please do use appropriate amount of syrup on your pancakes. (he eyes Dean making funny faces at him and mimicking him so he tells sternly) You should stop doing it. Your face will get stuck”

Dean sputters indignantly at Cas with a “ hey smartass!” and Cas just gives him a self-satisfied smirk while sipping on his coffee. A soft smile on his face as he looks at Dean over the rim of his cup. Dean looks at his eyes for a minute and turns his head back to his breakfast.

Cas gives the man a sad smile which goes unnoticed by everyone else. Cas wants to have this with all he is, but he wants more too, for himself and for Jack as well.

Sam snickers at the domestic display and shakes his head while shovelling his eggs and swiping at the screen of his tablet. He’s had a lot of notifications and he really needs to go through all of them today as it’s the only time most people are free for what they require. He’s irritated Cas is not helping much, but Cas has been taking care of other things and Sam can’t complain. Besides the man is still a disaster at technology.

It’s peacefully silent at the breakfast table for some time after that as everyone gets done with their breakfast.

Dean after taking the last large bite of his pancakes pushes his plate to the side, he swipes a piece of bacon from Cas’s plate grinning impishly at him and turns to Jack with a huge smile on his face,

“ Hey Jack! Wanna go do something fun today?”

Cas glances at Jack and then Dean with that, even Sam looks up from his tablet seemingly shocked and pleasantly surprised. Cas gives Sam a small hopeful smile which is returned with a guarded intensity. Sam knows his brother.

Jack looks surprised to say the least and glances towards Sam and Cas. It’s the first time since everything settled after God’s defeat and Cas’s return that Dean has addressed him with such enthusiasm. He feels…cautious.

Sam asks softly to dissipate the silence and protect Dean’s grin “ what have you planned Dean? I hope it’s safe for little ears?”

Jack lets out an indignant “ HEY!”

While Dean replies turning his gaze to Sam, “ I KNOW SAM. Its all going to be perfectly safe and super FUN. Well only if Jack wants to though, I don’t want to force anything.”

This time jack replies with only a slightly restrained grin… “ I would love to go Dean!”

Cas glances towards Sam and asks trying to sound excited “ Am I invited to this fun outing too?”

Dean looks at him with an excited face but then thinks of something and shakes his head as he replies with conviction… “ No…umm…I would like this to be something we did. Just us two.”

Cas glances at Jack who gives him a wide excited and reassuring smile. Cas nods and says with fake sadness as he picks his plate off the table and turns to go to the sink… “ well since I am clearly unwanted here. Ill find something else…cooler to do..”

Dean’s snicker at his words makes him smile fondly.

It seems like he could finally, might be able to have everything together as he’s been wanting it. It feels like he’s closer to peace.

* * *

Dean rubs his hands together whistling excitedly as he makes his way to the garage. His excitement two fold as it’s been almost a week since he’s been cooped up in the bunker and then there’s the thing about teaching Jack how to shoot. How awesome is that!

He’s quite sure that’s it’s going to be absolutely amazing. Besides he’s the only one who’s willing to teach jack cool things. Not the boring stuff like studies.

He’s been preparing for the day since forever. He has a secluded area picked out, he’s got a collection of guns and shotguns in Baby’s trunk as every man has the right to choose his own bullet, he’s got the place all set up too!

It’s just going to be like that amazing day he remembers having spent with his Dad shooting at cans and chugging cold drinks. He was too young then though, so he doesn’t remember a lot of the details. But it’s a good memory for him, a day he spent having Dad’s attention just on him, Sam having been left at Bobby’s.

After breakfast is over he let’s jack know that they’ll be leaving in two and goes on to check on all the supplies he’ll need. He has packets of chips, beef jerky and soft drinks all stored in baby.

Dean wishes he could have told Cas yes for the little trip, but it’s just something that he really wants to be just between him and jack. Like Jack’s got rituals with Sam and Cas too, so he doesn’t think he was wrong in saying no to Cas.

As he reaches Baby, just the site of the shiny glistening black metal makes a broad smile appear on dean’s face. A softness replacing all his hard lines.

Within the next twenty minutes as Dean checks up on everything, Jack arrives and both settle down quickly for a long drive in the pleasant weather.

Dean remembers that the Day had been sweltering hot when dad had taken him for his first practice.

He’s humming the song as his fingers beat the music over the wheel when Jack asks in his usual excited – neutral tone, dean can’t ever figure out how he manages that…

“ SO? Are we going to go fishing again?”

Dean laughs and then suddenly turns sombre, that had been a good day up until the moment jack had lost consciousness. He shakes his head to dispel that memory and focuses ahead again, replying teasingly…

“ I thought you guys had limitless patience”

“ I am no longer GOD dean, I am as human as you are”

“ yeah well I’ll never know why you would trade being all omnipotent with being a mortal.”

“ to spend the time learning and understanding Dean. (shrugging nonchalantly) when you guys leave this plane I can always come to heaven to visit or just be god I guess. My deal with Amara is complicated.”

Dean frowns at the reminder of that, the deals that Winchesters make have never been good for them, but this had been necessary, Amara had wanted freedom and solace and Jack had wanted Cass back from the empty. So both of them had come to an understanding that they would let the balance of universe maintain itself and take a sort of a holiday.

It’s all really complicated and stuff that Dean doesn’t want to spend his Day thinking about. Along with the fact that apparently Cass even though human would gain all his angelic abilities once his time on earth is done. So he quickly changes the subject…

“ Well it’s not fishing this time. But I can guarantee that you’ll find this way more amazing and interesting. Not just sitting around you know, we do that at bunker plenty now.”

Jack nods his head and seems to be contemplating something when Dean chances a glance at him after, he replies after few minutes… “ I am enjoying the peace and quite actually. Cass has taught me some meditation techniques, they help me focus and stay connected with everything.”

Dean rolls his eyes, well that explains what the two do together, Cass couldn’t have been more boring if he tried… “ well enjoy it while it lasts kid. This kind of peace, lemme tell you doesn’t last long for us. (grinning) and to be honest it gets kind of itchy doesn’t it?”

Jack frowns and turns towards dean, he tilts his head to one side which he undoubtedly picked up from Cas and says.. “ I don’t feel itchy in any way at the bunker Dean. It’s really nice there. Well some sunlight might be more appreciable.” Smiling softly as he turns towards the window again to enjoy the forementioned sunlight… “ Cass loves sunshine allot too. He says it makes the flowers bloom.”

Dean shakes his head and snorts as he remembers a biology lesson from a long ago lecture… “ it’s not like all flowers bloom in sunshine kid. Some like the dark too.”

Jack tilts his head in the same endearing way Cass does and asks in a confusing manner… “ don’t you like the SUN dean? Is that why you like the bunker..”

Dean looks at the kid and he doesn’t really know how to answer that question. Dean’s never been a fan of extreme weathers, they remind him of too hot field runs and too cold digging nights. But he’s not immune to the charm of sunlight and wet sand and blue waters. He’s always thought of a home near a beech.

But bunker’s safe. It’s the first place Dean could put down some roots at, have his own room, call somewhere his own space, have a kitchen and eat at a table, have game nights or movie nights, stuff like that. It’s not an ideal place, but it’s safe, stable and everything Dean’s never had before.

So finally Dean just shrugs his shoulder and replies almost dispassionately, not yet able to open himself up in front of a kid he dragged through a fatal ritual just so he could have a house near a beech, “ I don’t really care. If you haven’t yet noticed kid, we don’t exactly have a still life, you can always take up all the vitamin D crap while investigating hunts”

He chances a glance at Jack and notices him thinking about something deeply so asks even though he doesn’t really think he wants the answer… “ what about you kid?”

Jack looks at him startled like he didn’t expect Dean to throw that question back at him, it makes Dean’s stomach twist in an ugly way, but he answers nevertheless, like the sweet kid he is.. “ I don’t really like the bunker” and honest too. “ It’s stifling and doesn’t have a garden or windows or somewhere for Cass to build a beehive or for Sam to enjoy his books with natural light. And I wouldn’t mind an open space to walk and sit and meditate or play games or eat perhaps. (smiling softly) I haven’t ever known a home of my own, but I loved the house my Mom had built for herself in her heaven. It was beautiful.”

Dean doesn’t exactly remember the Day he stopped hoping for a house or a place that would feel more like a home. He knows all that crap about that people inside a house make it a home, but you know, everyone dreams of having a white picket fence and all that stuff. It’s always been Sam’s dream. Not his. He doesn’t think he deserves that kind of thing with all the wrongs he’s done.

He just nods at the kid and continues driving while focusing forward now. His hands pale as he grips the steering wheel.

Perhaps some day.

Afterall even a few months ago he had never thought he had be frequenting a single bakery for months either. And baking fancy cupcakes, danish pastries or savoury pies.

* * *

They reach their destination, which is surprisingly a dense forest like area 2 hours outside of Lawrence. Jack tilts his head in confusion as he can’t fathom what they would be doing in here. Jack is not a fan of hunting animals.

He conveys as much to Dean,

“ dean I don’t think I can hunt or allow you to hunt innocent animals in my presence.”

Dean gapes at him indignantly and replies in an offended tone… “ hey! I have never hunted innocent animals…(after thinking a bit) well bobby may have taught us how to…(sheepishly to Jack) but you know…it was a required skill then!”

Jack squints his eyes outside in the forest and replies with conviction… “ nevertheless Dean, I am not interested in that kind of skill”

Dean nods and rubs the back of his neck which Jack now knows is a nervous habit, he can’t figure out why Dean would be nervous in his presence. Dean looks at him and turns his head down and up again and says as he fidgets with his car keys next…

“ it’s not hunting animals I promise. It’s shooting. Hmm…My dad used to take me when I were young, it’s one of the only things I am good at. SO I thought it might be fun if we could uhm practice it outside of bunker…”

Jack tilts his head in a thinking manner and replies after a moment alone.. “ You are good in a lot of other things too Dean. And yes, I would love to learn how to shoot with you, I guess it’s an important skill.”

Dean gives jack a thankful smile which he doesn’t know how to interpret and then immediately turns and rubs his hands in excitement as he turns the impala into an almost path through the forest.

It’s a surprisingly serene sight looking out from the impala’s windows. Being the only ones out here in the middle of almost nowhere but trees and darkness. He can get behind the idea of somewhere like this. But only for a few days. As an escape or a place to meditate may be. It makes him feel close to the universe as he has never before.

And then, he can understand why Dean would choose a place like this, looking at the clearing that they come across as the impala crosses from behind a tree line. The sight is amazing and quite and serene. It’s surprisingly nice.

Soon Dean is getting out excitedly giving a broad grin to jack and moving behind another tree line and coming back out with a load of stuff. Jack can only see him doing all this as he stands beside impala and looks and observes things around himself. He can feel with wind, hear the birds chirping, feel sights of animals on him and see the trees dancing.

Cas would certainly love to be here. The ex-angel even after loosing his extraordinary senses is much more in harmony with the nature than jack. It’s one of the reasons jack’s decided to stay. The understanding that Cass has of humanity and about free will is something that jack wishes to acquire and understand.

Dean however has vastly different ideas about the place. When Jack finally turns to him, he is done setting up a foldable table on which he scatters metal cans, pin balls, rings and various other items varying in shape and size. It looks like nothing jack’s ever seen. It’s just chaos.

However, Dean smiles broadly after he’s done giving the final touches and then turns to jack with a similar smile and asks excitedly… “ awesome isn’t it?”

Jack just tilts his head unable to decide anything.

Dean simply shrugs and crosses the vast distance between them and comes to the impala. After rummaging through the trunk he takes out a variety of what Jack determines are firearms. It’s not a very encouraging thought.

Jack comments silently… “ I don’t think Sam and Cass would approve of such an activity”

Instead of being deterred a boyish grin makes it’s way across Dean’s face and he winks at Jack for no apparent reason with a carefree comment.. “ well they aren’t here to make frowny faces are they? We can enjoy ourselves!”

“ it…doesn’t look much like enjoyment…” Jack is not sure he really wants to do this shooting thing. He enjoyed fishing.

Dean just comes near him and they both make their way to the side opposite to the table.

“ well that’s because you haven’t tried it yet! It’s fun kid I promise. Not to say the one thing that can keep you alive in a fight.”

Jack takes the firearm that looks most harmless to him, Dean apparently approves of his choice and with a nod backs up.

Jack glances at the firearm and then the table far ahead, he can’t fathom why he would need to learn to shoot for fighting bullies in school?

He says as much to Dean.

“ Dean, I don’t think I require a firearm to fight bullies in educational institutions, there are far harmless ways available.”

Dean gives a loud laugh and scoffs as he once again comes near him. Sometimes, even to Jack who’s an all powerful being, Dean seems like a dangerous being. All muscles, height, determination and a killer skill set. He takes a small step back, almost unnoticeable.

“ what school Jack? Which school or college do you think would admit a boy with no past, hunters for guardians with no verification and a life on a road? Pipe dreams are just that Jack, dreams”

Jack feels angry for a reason he can’t determine. How can Dean talk like that? Jack wants to go to school, learn the intricacies of human life, have experiences that all humans his age go through. Cass promised they would be able to!

The anger in him shivers, boils in his veins and thuds in the beat of his heart. But there’s no outlet without his powers, so he does the next best thing.

He picks up the gun and shoots, one bullet after another until he feels a calm settle over him.

**Author's Note:**

> Would love to hear your thoughts and comments.  
> I dig kudos so feel free to leave em.  
> I would love to talk to anyone from the fandom willing to rant or just wanting to talk.  
> Hope everyone is healthy and feeling fine.


End file.
